Well - cats outta the bag. Our family is growing! I’m with child haha.

So far, my second experience of pregnancy has been quite different from my first. Women often say that every pregnancy is different, and I must say, I agree!

(Please note that I have not experienced any fertility issues and I do not feel comfortable providing any insights or comforts into fertility problems. But I do know that my joyous announcement might make some women feel sad. I want to provide a few links to sources that might help you relate to other women who are experiencing or have experienced fertility problems, miscarriages and pregnancy losses. Please watch/read the following if you are looking for more experiences on this: YouTuber, Crystal Conte’s 2 year TTC journey (she is now pregnant!!!!). Blogger, Krystle’s Ectopic Pregnancy. Blogger, Gracie’s Miscarriage.)

At first, our intentions were to wait until December to start trying for a baby. You see, Bryon has a MAJOR upcoming exam (the Canadian Royal College of Surgeon’s exam) which marks the end of his 5-year residency this spring. Yea. So. We wanted to work a delivery date around that. HOWEVER, COVID canceled a few of our planned trips, one to Jamaica, which would have put TTC on hold anyway because of Zika. We got to talking and thought, let just give it a go and see what happens. The next day I checked my fertility app and realized my fertility score was at 10 the previous day, so I sort of had a hunch things might work out.

Two weeks later (way back in May!) I got home from a visit to the county with Huxley. Bryon was at work and I needed to kill some time before dinner on a Sunday night, so I took Huxley out for a little wagon ride. As I was strolling along, I thought, well, I feel a little weird. As our walk continued I felt a bit nauseous and gagged lol. CLASSIC pregnancy sign for me. I knew it. Right then and there. When I got home I found a pregnancy test - a lone soldier - hanging out under the sink. One of the cheap drugstore brand ones, and gave it a go while Huxley watched (toddler life). I watched it process and the pee seep into the little window where it revealed that I was in fact, pregnant.

I always told myself that the second time I would do something cute to surprise Bryon. With Huxley I was in complete denial and Bryon ended up being the one to tell me I’m pregnant and needed to take a test. He was at work, and there was no way I could keep this to myself. So I just phoned him and broke the news hahahaha. We were both really excited.

But I will say, the last three months has been SIGNIFICANTLY different from my last pregnancy. So much that I said right from the beginning that it’s a girl. For starters, although I felt nauseous in May when I first found out, my symptoms for the first 5 weeks weren't as consistent as they were with Huxley. My nausea in the beginning wasn't nearly as strong as my previous pregnancy, and symptoms would come and go. I was convinced I was no longer pregnant and I took 3 pregnancy tests hahaha. I realized, okay, it's all good this is happening and maybe I've dodged the bullet with nausea. LOL...wishful thinking.

Soon enough, things caught up with me. With Huxley I had beautiful smooth skin that no amount of Botox could compete with. My hair was luxurious and full. I felt sick for sure -and at the time, in my opinion really sick. I had a serious aversion to the smell of hamburgers cooking, and of course a bit of fatigue - all in the first trimester.

This pregnancy, came with more difficult challenges, and the first trimester was HARD. There were many days I felt debilitated by nausea and fatigue. As soon as 4:30pm hit I needed a nap, which was heartbreaking for me because that’s when Huxley would come home from daycare and I would get time to hang out with him. My skin was an absolute mess. It was dull, crepe-y, I kept getting awful breakouts in patches - little tiny pimples all grouped together in painful patches on my t-zone, chin and cheeks. The nausea lasted all day and night. The smell of cooked green vegetables would send me over the edge, so I had a tough time preparing dinner for Huxley (if the fatigue didn’t have me sleeping already - huge shout out to Bryon, father of the year, for helping!) Man, I hate complaining because I’m certainly grateful to be pregnant and to get pregnant so quickly - but this first trimester was no joke. Not to mention, I started gaining a little ‘fluff’ a lot quicker than I did with Huxley. This is part to blame on my fatigue (having zero motivation or energy to workout + the need to eat carbs to stay full to keep my nausea at bay). The early weight gain was difficult for me because I committed to Beach Body and motivating others - but I was in such a difficult place, I needed to do what was best for me - and that meant skipping a lot of my workouts and resting. I felt a lot of guilt there, because I wanted to be healthy and fit - but I was operating on low gas, struggling to keep my iron levels up. It was a losing battle for me on multiple levels. It came to one point where I was gagging my way through a workout, and I thought, why am I doing this? What am I trying to prove here? It’s tough when you see other mom’s working out throughout their entire pregnancies on social media - but that’s when you need to stop and remind yourself that everyone’s experiences and journeys are different and you should never compare yourself to anyone else.

HOWEVER, I can say, that around week 12, the nausea started to fade away, and slowly my energy came back. I’m now in the second trimester, I have energy, I’m ready to start safely working out again at my own pace and eating better, and I am no longer gagging every 5 seconds lol. Thing are definitely looking up!

It’s difficult to complain or express negative thoughts abut pregnancy online, because you know there are PLENTY of women out there who would give anything to feel the negative side affects of pregnancy. But this is how I’m feeling, and I can’t change that and I know there are a lot of women out there going through the same thing who just want to know they aren’t alone. I don’t love being pregnant. I don’t like how uncomfortable I feel throughout the entire 9 months and the limitations I have to commit to, but I am CERTAINLY VERY EXCITED to be having another baby. I feel very grateful to my body to be able to support this pregnancy.

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I announced we are having a baby girl! I never thought I would have one of each - I always saw myself as a boy mom hahaha. I have some worries about how I’ll bond with a girl because I bonded so well with Huxley and I absolutely love having a boy. But I’m sure things will be fine. Bryon and I found out the gender privately before we revealed the news to our family. We took the Panorama test (with Huxley we did Harmony). Both tests are to determine if your fetus is at risk for any genetic diseases, and if the results do not come back normal then you would have a discussion with your doctor about what your next steps are to confirm. Both of these tests allow you to learn the gender earlier than the 20 week ultrasound, and we decided we might as well find out.

I hope you found my little first trimester update fun or interesting. I like reading these by other women, and I did this with Huxley as well. I'll do another one after my second trimester!